New Year's Wish

i just want to see you happy

A Message from the Prophet Malachi

(God's Messenger St. John the Baptist)

1"Behold, I am going to send My messenger, and he will clear the way before Me And the Lord, whom you seek, will suddenly come to His temple; and the messenger of the covenant, in whom you delight, behold, He is coming," says the LORD of hosts.
2"But who can endure the day of His coming? And who can stand when He appears? For He is like a refiner's fire and like fullers' soap.
3"He will sit as a smelter and purifier of silver, and He will purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver, so that they may present to the LORD offerings in righteousness.
4"Then the offering of Judah and Jerusalem will be pleasing to the LORD as in the days of old and as in former years.
5"Then I will draw near to you for judgment; and I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers and against the adulterers and against those who swear falsely, and against those who oppress the wage earner in his wages, the widow and the orphan, and those who turn aside the alien and do not fear Me," says the LORD of hosts.
6"For I, the LORD, do not change; therefore you, O sons of Jacob, are not consumed.
7"From the days of your fathers you have turned aside from My statutes and have not kept them. Return to Me, and I will return to you," says the LORD of hosts.

(Malachi 3:1-7)

St. John of the Cross

“In giving us his Son, his only and definitive Word, God spoke everything to us at once in this sole Word, and he has no more to say.”

(Saint John of the Cross)

One Kick-Ass Sermon

Listen to this great sermon by the late Bishop Festo Kivengere.


biretta tip: BabyBlue

Mother of God

The Mother Of God by William Butler Yeats


THE threefold terror of love; a fallen flare
Through the hollow of an ear;
Wings beating about the room;
The terror of all terrors that I bore
The Heavens in my womb.
Had I not found content among the shows
Every common woman knows,
Chimney corner, garden walk,
Or rocky cistern where we tread the clothes
And gather all the talk?
What is this flesh I purchased with my pains,
This fallen star my milk sustains,
This love that makes my heart's blood stop
Or strikes a Sudden chill into my bones
And bids my hair stand up?

Advent

Advent is the season when we penitently prepare ourselves for the second Advent as we liturgically await the first.

From a catechetical instruction by St. Cyril of Jerusalem (315-386):

"We do not preach only one coming of Christ, but a second as well, much more glorious than the first. The first coming was marked by patience; the second will bring the crown of a divine kingdom.

In general, what relates to our Lord Jesus Christ has two aspects. There is a birth from God before the ages, and a birth from a virgin at the fullness of time. There is a hidden coming, like that of rain on fleece, and a coming before all eyes, still in the future.

At the first coming he was wrapped in swaddling clothes in a manger. At his second coming he will be clothed in light as in a garment. In the first coming he endured the cross, despising the shame; in the second coming he will be in glory, escorted by an army of angles. We look then beyond the first coming and await the second. At the first coming we said: Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord. At the second we shall say it again; we shall go out with the angels to meet the Lord and cry out in adoration: Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.

The Savior will not come to be judged again, but to judge those by whom he was judged. At his own judgement he was silent; then he will address those who committed the outrages against him when they crucified him and will remind them: You did these things, and I was silent.

His first coming was to fulfill his plan of love, to teach men by gentle persuasion. This time, whether men like it or not, they will be subjects of his kingdom by necessity. Malachi the prophet speaks of the two comings. And the Lord who you seek will come suddenly to his temple: that is one coming.

Again he says of another coming: Look, the Lord almighty will come, and who will endure the day of his entry, or who will stand in his sight? Because he comes like a refiner’s fire, a fuller’s herb, and he will sit refining and cleansing.

These two comings are also referred to by Paul in writing to Titus: The grace of God the Savior has appeared to all men, instructing us to put aside impiety and worldly desires and live temperately, uprightly, and religiously in this present age, waiting for the joyful hope, the appearance of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ. Notice how he speaks of a first coming for which he gives thanks, and a second, the one we still await.

That is why the faith we profess has been handed on to you in these words: He ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the Father, and he will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and his kingdom will have no end.

Our Lord Jesus Christ will therefore come from heaven. He will come at the end of the world, in glory, at the last day. For there will be an end to this world, and the created world will be made new."

Behold, the Name of the Lord comes from afar, and his glory fills the whole earth.

Traditional Catholic Monks of Papa Stronsay, Scotland

Youth Group

Church is for Punks


My church, All Saints in Selinsgrove (ECUSA) has asked me help lead their youth group. Which is now non-existent. The ages of the youth range around the tweens.

I’m a product of really lame youth groups. The point of these youth groups was mostly just to have youth group. I had some friends that also went to these groups but it seemed none of us really enjoyed it.

I would have liked nothing better than to sit around and listen to the Smiths and discuss Morrissey’s eschatology or compare and contrast the social and cultural revolutionary aspects of the gospel and punk music.

I am probably the last person one should ask to help lead a youth group. But I guess they asked because they don’t know me that well (or think because I am "young" I’ll be able to relate to them better). I couldn’t relate to the youth of my own age how do you expect me to relate to them now? But I’m willing to accept the challenge.

The biggest mistake one can make is not having a purpose. The idea of a youth group is not just to give the kids something to do. They, I’m sure, have plenty they would rather do. So, what is the point of a youth group? I will suggest that it must actually have a point for starters. A youth group should not only be about fellowship and keeping kids away from crime but hopefully to edify and teach. The point of a youth group should be to help form them spiritually to be better Christians. To instruct them on what it means to be a Christian or even specifically as Anglicans and integrate them fully into the Body of Christ.

And already I see problems with All Saints’ view of their youth. They do not stay for the whole Mass at Church they only come in for the Eucharist (they are not an integrated part of the Body). And I don’t think they are even given instruction back there in the parish hall. I think they are just kept out of the way. They are enforcing the idea that church is boring. This is of course problematic and wrong. These children are the future of the Church… so don’t be surprised when they abandon the Church in adulthood.

I can’t abide the direction-less, meaningless, banal, or hyperactive youth group. If they ask me to lead a youth group ok, i accept; but, if your current system is broken you must also be willing to fix it. We need to do nothing less than lead a youth revolution.

Anglicans on Radio

Recently, there have been some interesting radio interviews with some important figures of the Church.

The ABC tries (and fails) to convert John Humphrys (who didn't want to be converted anyway).

Presiding Bishop Katherine tries (and fails) to prove she's not a Unitarian, on "Here and Now."

Bishop Iker on the same program tries (and succeeds) to prove that he's catholic.

Future of Anglicanism

Bishop Duncan of Pittsburgh gave an address at Nashotah House that's worth a read. "The Future of Anglicanism: an end to Western hegemony."

(Image from CS monitor article).

Why I haven't a clue

It is common now to see blogs where the author writes a statement on Why I left the Episcopal Church or Why I left the Roman Catholic Church, or "Why I am staying Anglican." (notice he didn't say "Episcopal.") I had hoped to avoid such a statement. I hate Church politics but it is difficult, or even impossible, to separate politics from anything else. As my friend Adam Clayton says in Rattle in Hum, you can't separate politics from music, from sport, from art, etc.... For better or for worse this is true.

Bishop Ackerman recently gave an address to the assembly of Forward in Faith. In it he bluntly says "there is no safe place for Anglo-Catholics" in America. I was stuck by the inherent fatalism in this statement, but I think he's right. Everything hinges upon the creation of a new province. Something that has never happened before. And which may never happen.

As an Anglo-Catholic in the Episcopal Church I am caught between a rock and a hard place. Whether we like it or not, practicing Traditional Catholic Anglicanism demands you make a political decision.

This has been made much more clear to me now that I live in central PA. There are no Anglo-Catholic parishes in the Episcopal Church in the Diocese of central PA. So, I am screwed. I recently decided to visit a continuing church (ACA) in Willamsport (about 45 mins. North of Norry). I was frankly surprised how little it mattered to me where I worshiped. (I guess I am not so shallow after all ;-) The church of the incarnation meets in a old store front. They use the 1928 BCP and the Anglican Missal. Their service was practically identical to GASP's service (my church in Balto). It was paired down due to the fact that they don't have an organ, there was no musical accompaniment at all and no choir. But this did not bother me. The essentials where there. In fact I found that stripping the service to its essentials can be helpful. I found that the worship was much more intentional. I'm not saying that I would do away with the organ all together but it can become more performance less prayer....

After the service I got the chance to speak with the priest. He thinks its insane that a person with my Catholic views would remain in TEC. He was an Episcopal priest himself until he was deposed, back in 2004, for wanting to join Forward in Faith. (There is no safe place.)

It is clear that TEC has walked away from the Catholic faith the evidence is every where (our PB-elect doesn't even believe in the after-life, views the scriptures simply as metaphor, denies Jesus Christ's gospel of eternal salvation by grace through faith.) TEC is so far beyond the pale of Anglicanism even the basic tenets of Christianity are rejected. So, why am I still in this church and why am I applying to be a postulant in this church? How could I ever promise obedience to bishops who aren't even Christian? (BTW, a Christian is someone who can say the Creeds and believe every word). I feel that it is indeed a cop out to want to be a part of a church just because there are still 3 Anglo-Catholic bishops left.

This ACA priest wants me to join them. I'd like to but I can't for the opposite reason I can't support TEC. I share their faith (and the particular expression of that faith) but I can't sign up to join a church which has a structure I don't agree with, namely the fact that the continuing churches (all 50+ of them) spilt from each other due to the egos of the bishops which started them. This is not Catholic. If the churches which split back in the 70s had stayed together it would be a completely different story. I would join their church right now. The priest I spoke with claims that the ACA is no longer political.... well if that's true than unite with your brother and sisters in the rest of the continuum. I have more hope for a separate province than I do with the continuum reuniting. I think it will happen but the current bishops will have to die first (crude but true). I think the responsibility of reuniting the continuum will lie with the next generation. They are taking steps but they should do much more.

So, I'm screwed.

As a member of the Episcopal Church discerning a call to the priesthood, I need support. Which means support from other churches in TEC (and who would give me support?). I don't want to leave TEC; I want TEC to believe what it says it believes (see Creeds and BCP). So who should be the one leaving? The liberal EC who want to contradict what it means to be Anglican and Christian or the orthodox in TEC?

I wait with bated breath for the Primates meeting in Feb. 07 where TEC will be kicked out of the Communion (or at least be given reduced status as Canterbury suggested) opening the way for a new province for orthodox parishes.....

"Internet Assembled Philosophy"

Bad Vicar Video

Male & Famale

by Joan White from New Directions

If one considers the apparent sincerity of the Islamist suicide bomber, one can see that the conviction does not tie in with what is known of Godhead, either as a Muslim or as a Christian. The first I knew of the idea of female ordination was the claim that many women had heard a call, a vocation. This did not disturb me: I, myself, have heard such a calling, beginning at the age of four, to be a teacher. The idea, however, that God had called these women to serve as eucharistic priests came to me as a severe shock.

When I argued that the tradition did not allow for this, I was patiently given to understand that at the time of the Last Supper of our Lord, women were not allowed public positions and so this all had to wait. Reading Christina Rees’s article [ND September] develops this idea. There is a continuum in which women (and men) are called to extend and fulfil the work Jesus started, because he could not complete it all at that time.

To my mind, however, there is, was and ever shall be nothing which God is unable to do. God is Lord of all creation, and has no need for the kind offers to complete what he left half-done, nor has he, from his utterances, any use for acts of envy, ambition or dissatisfaction with the created roles he established for men and women at his creation.

We can ask, legitimately, why he gave his vocations to the males, and it requires female meditation to tease out the answers. The secret lies in the donation to the female of the act of creation of all the people of the earth. This is a divine sharing, which men have treated with contempt, as an excuse for their own envy. Women, resenting this attitude have rejected their privilege in favour of worldly status on a par with men.

The sacrifice of the cross, equal in creative pain to the extremity of childbirth, is a true rebirth of humanity, and once this symbol is grasped and accepted it is easy to see why women are not sacrificing priests. Women have their own elevated role in renewing the earth, and men are charged with tending the humanity whose spiritual life has been atoned-for in the priesthood of Christ.

Women priests and bishops make as much sense to God’s intentions as male pregnancy and lactation. If we honour God and his created order, it is time to reorder our ideas in obedience, respect and recognition. The current impertinence, foisted upon an unsuspecting Church by a very few misguided people, however articulate, is ungodly. There is no room in our human society for the vanity of the ordination idea, for the harvest needs labourers and quickly.

Shakedown

Another (even stronger) statement from the Council of Anglican Provinces in Africa is found here. It is clear that Africa is no longer willing to be ignored by the powers that be in Anglican Communion. They are unsatisfied with England's indecision and by America's imperialist habit of acting unilaterally. I also think its interesting that they are unwilling to accept money from ECUSA. I personally would say, take our money but i guess the ends really don't justify the means.

"We recognize the strategy employed by Episcopal Church and certain Communion bodies to substitute talk of Millennium Development Goals for the truth of Scripture. These choices are false alternatives: it is the Christ of Scripture who compels us to care for the poor and afflicted. But we must take the initiative in these areas and not accept the patronizing of those who are rich in endowments but who are not rich toward God. Even among the churches on this continent, there are differences in economic resources, in political stability and in religious maturity. It is time for the stronger among us to empathize with and come to the help of the weaker, and not always be looking overseas for help."

and

"To add to our reservations about the 2008 Lambeth Conference, we note the huge expense of such an event. Our African churches are asked to divert funds from much needed work of evangelization and charity to a 3-week meeting which has no authority and which is blatantly ignored by “autonomous” member churches. In some cases, poorer provinces are “assisted” by donors from the West who have a deliberate agenda of buying silence from these churches. We conclude that if a regular all-bishops conference is to continue in the Anglican Communion, it should be held in the Global South, where the costs are much less and the local economy can benefit; that it be shorter in duration; and that every church be required to pay its own way (we in CAPA will take care of our own genuinely needy members)."

I may not agree with everything the CAPA does and says but they are finally standing up for themselves. We can not say Africa is insignificant and backwards. (Besides being racist its just wrong). They want a shift from Canterbury to Africa, and since they are the misrepresented majority i can't blame them.

Kigali Communiqué

Here is a communiqué from another "important meeting." It looks like the Global South wants to kick ECUSA out of the communion. This is very significant since the GS constitutes the majority of Anglicans in the world (70 percent of the Anglican Communion’s active membership.) The Church of Nigeria alone has about 15 million members.
If we really claim to be catholic we'll listen to them....

Global South Primates’ Meeting
The Anglican Communion
Kigali, Rwanda September 2006
Communiqué
________________________________________

1. As Primates and Leaders of the Global South Provinces of the Anglican Communion we gathered at the Hotel des Mille Collines in Kigali, Rwanda, between 19th and 22nd September 2006. We were called together by the Global South Steering Committee and its chairman, Archbishop Peter J. Akinola. Twenty provinces were represented at the meeting*. We are extremely grateful for the warm welcome shown to us by the Right Honorable Bernard Makuza, Prime Minister of the Republic of Rwanda, and the hospitality provided by Archbishop Emmanuel Kolini, members of the House of Bishops of the Church of Rwanda and all of the members of the local organizing committee.

2. We have gathered in Rwanda twelve years after the genocide that tragically engulfed this nation and even its churches. During this time Rwanda was abandoned to its fate by the world. Our first action was to visit the Kigali Genocide Museum at Gisozi for a time of prayer and reflection. We were chastened by this experience and commit ourselves not to abandon the poor or the persecuted wherever they may be and in whatever circumstances. We add our voices to theirs and we say, “Never Again!”

3. As we prayed and wept at the mass grave of 250,000 helpless victims we confronted the utter depravity and inhumanity to which we are all subject outside of the transforming grace of God. We were reminded again that faith in Jesus Christ must be an active, whole-hearted faith if we are to stand against the evil and violence that threaten to consume our world. We were sobered by the reality that several of our Provinces are presently in the middle of dangerous conflicts. We commit ourselves to intercession for them.

4. We are very aware of the agonizing situation in the Sudan. We appreciate and commend the terms of the Sudanese Comprehensive Peace Agreement between the North and the South. We dare not, however, close our eyes to the devastating situation in Darfur. We are conscious of the complexities but there must be no continuation of the slaughter. We invite people from all of the Provinces of the Anglican Communion and the entire international community to stand in solidarity with the men, women and children in Darfur, Sudan.

5. We are here as a people of hope and we have been greatly encouraged as we have witnessed the reconciling power of God’s love at work as this nation of Rwanda seeks to rebuild itself. We have been pleased to hear of positive developments in the neighboring country of Burundi as they have recently completed a cease-fire agreement between their government and the Palipehutu-FNL. We are also beginning to see an end to the conflict in Northern Uganda and we note that the Democratic Republic of the Congo is approaching a historic election that offers promise for a peaceful future. All of these developments are occasions for hope for the future.

6. We have met here as a growing fellowship of Primates and leaders of churches in the Global South representing more than 70 percent of the active membership of the worldwide Anglican Communion. We build on and reaffirm the work of our previous meetings, especially our most recent gathering in Egypt in October 2005. We are mindful of the challenges that face our Communion and recommit ourselves to the abiding truth of the Holy Scriptures and the faithful proclamation of the whole Gospel for the whole world. We recommit ourselves to the vision of our beloved Communion as part of the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church.

7. We recognize that because of the ongoing conflict in the Communion many people have lost hope that we will come to any resolution in the foreseeable future. We are grateful therefore, that one sign of promise is the widespread support for the development of an Anglican Covenant. We are delighted to affirm the extraordinary progress made by the Global South task group on developing an Anglican Covenant. For the past year they have labored on this important task and we look forward to submitting the result of their labor to the rest of the Communion. We are pleased that the Archbishop of Canterbury has recognized the exemplary scholarship and leadership of Archbishop Drexel Gomez in asking him to chair the Covenant Design Group and look forward with anticipation to the crucial next steps of this historic venture. We believe that an Anglican Covenant will demonstrate to the world that it is possible to be a truly global communion where differences are not affirmed at the expense of faith and truth but within the framework of a common confession of faith and mutual accountability.

8. We have come together as Anglicans and we celebrate the gift of Anglican identity that is ours today because of the sacrifice made by those who have gone before us. We grieve that, because of the doctrinal conflict in parts of our Communion, there is now a growing number of congregations and dioceses in the USA and Canada who believe that their Anglican identity is at risk and are appealing to us so that they might remain faithful members of the Communion. As leaders of that Communion we will work together to recognize the Anglican identity of all who receive, hold and maintain the Scriptures as the Word of God written and who seek to live in godly fellowship within our historic ordering.

9. We deeply regret that, at its most recent General Convention, The Episcopal Church gave no clear embrace of the minimal recommendations of the Windsor Report. We observe that a number of the resolutions adopted by the Convention were actually contrary to the Windsor Report. We are further dismayed to note that their newly elected Presiding Bishop also holds to a position on human sexuality – not to mention other controversial views – in direct contradiction of Lambeth 1.10 and the historic teaching of the Church. The actions and decisions of the General Convention raise profound questions on the nature of Anglican identity across the entire Communion.

10. We are, however, greatly encouraged by the continued faithfulness of the Network Dioceses and all of the other congregations and communities of faithful Anglicans in North America. In addition, we commend the members of the Anglican Network in Canada for their commitment to historic, biblical faith and practice. We value their courage and consistent witness. We are also pleased by the emergence of a wider circle of ‘Windsor Dioceses’ and urge all of them to walk more closely together and deliberately work towards the unity that Christ enjoins. We are aware that a growing number of congregations are receiving oversight from dioceses in the Global South and in recent days we have received requests to provide Alternative Primatial Oversight for a number of dioceses. This is an unprecedented situation in our Communion that has not been helped by the slow response from the Panel of Reference. After a great deal of prayer and deliberation, and in order to support these faithful Anglican dioceses and parishes, we have come to agreement on the following actions:

a. We have asked the Global South Steering Committee to meet with the leadership of the dioceses requesting Alternative Primatial Oversight, in consultation with the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Network and the ‘Windsor Dioceses’, to investigate their appeal in greater detail and to develop a proposal identifying the ways by which the requested Primatial oversight can be adequately provided.

b. At the next meeting of the Primates in February 2007 some of us will not be able to recognize Katharine Jefferts Schori as a Primate at the table with us. Others will be in impaired communion with her as a representative of The Episcopal Church. Since she cannot represent those dioceses and congregations who are abiding by the teaching of the Communion we propose that another bishop, chosen by these dioceses, be present at the meeting so that we might listen to their voices during our deliberations.

c. We are convinced that the time has now come to take initial steps towards the formation of what will be recognized as a separate ecclesiastical structure of the Anglican Communion in the USA. We have asked the Global South Steering Committee to develop such a proposal in consultation with the appropriate instruments of unity of the Communion. We understand the serious implications of this determination. We believe that we would be failing in our apostolic witness if we do not make this provision for those who hold firmly to a commitment to historic Anglican faith.

11. While we are concerned about the challenges facing our Anglican structures we are also very much aware that these issues can be a distraction from the work of the Gospel. At our meeting in Kigali we invested a great deal of our time on the day-to-day challenges that confront our various Churches including poverty eradication, HIV/AIDS, peace building and church planting. We were enormously encouraged by the reports of growth and vitality in the many different settings where we live and serve.

12. We received a preliminary report from the Theological Formation and Education (TFE) Task Force. We were pleased to hear of their plans to provide opportunities for theological formation from the most basic catechism to graduate level training for new and existing Anglican leaders. We request that all Global South provinces share their existing Catechisms and other educational resources with the TFE Task Force for mutual enrichment. We were pleased by their determination to network with other theological institutions and theologians in the Global South as well as with scholars and seminaries who share a similar vision for theological education that is faithful to Scripture and tradition.

13. We were blessed by the presence of a number of Economic Officers (Advisors) from around the Communion. Their determination to find creative ways to offer means of Economic Empowerment at various levels throughout the provinces of the Global South was an inspiration to all of us and resulted in the issuing of a separate summary statement. We note especially their proposed Ethical Economic and Financial Covenant that we adopted as Primates and commended for adoption at all levels of our Provinces. We were impressed by their vision and fully support their proposal to convene an Economic Empowerment consultation in 2007 with participation invited from every Global South Province.

14. We received ‘The Road to Lambeth,’ a draft report commissioned by the Primates of the Council of Anglican Provinces of Africa (CAPA) which they have commended to their churches for study and response. It highlights the crisis that now confronts us as we consider the future of the Lambeth Conference. We commend this report for wider reflection.

15. We were challenged by a presentation on the interface between Christianity and Islam and the complex issues that we must now confront at every level of our societies throughout the Global South. We recognized the need for a more thorough education and explored a number of ways that allow us to be faithful disciples to Jesus Christ while respecting the beliefs of others. We condemn all acts of violence in the name of any religion.

16. Throughout our time together in Kigali we have not only shared in discussions such as these we have also spent time together in table fellowship, prayer and worship. We are grateful that because of the time that we have shared our lives have been strengthened and our love for Christ, His Church and His world confirmed. Accordingly, we pray for God’s continued blessing on all members of our beloved Communion that we might all be empowered to continue in our mission to a needy and troubled world.

To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy — to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen. (Jude 1:24-25)

* Provinces Represented:

Bangladesh**, Burundi, Central Africa, Church of South India, Congo, Indian Ocean, Jerusalem and Middle East, Kenya, Myanmar, Nigeria, Philippines**, Rwanda, Southern Africa, South East Asia, Southern Cone, Sudan, Tanzania, Uganda, West Africa, West Indies (** Not present but represented)

What We Really Need

These are the good years.... but i'm starting to wonder about the future of the Anglican Communion. I have no doubt in my mind that the Episcopal Church will split again. The question is how. Already orthodox priests and parishes have left. They go to Rome or Eastern Orthodox churches or AMIA, or the continuum. There will be more. This month is a big month for meetings which will decide the future shape of the ECUSA. Here is a anglo-catholic priest who is willing to stay, there is also an interesting discussion afterwards.

My prayers will be with all the bishops. Although i want revolution and reformation, i also see the need for patience. Before we jump ship we need to build another ship to jump into; or else we'd be left with alphabet soup. The continuing church is working on reuniting and building real communion. We should help and join them. If the APA and the REC can work together anything is possible.

Patience, prayer, faith, is needed but also Ketchup. Ketchup contains natural mellowing agents that help you gain perspective on what's really important. Ketchup for the good times. [sing]Ketchup.... Ketchup

Heretics

Last week on NPR i heard a report about some women that are ordaining other women into the "Priesthood." They call themselves Roman Catholic Womenpriests. This is of course not possible and they are heretics and have excommunicated themselves from the church. In the interview i heard one woman say that Jesus constantly broke the rules of the Pharisees (therefore giving them permission to break rules).... but they don't seem to realize they are not only breaking the Church's rules but the rules Jesus himself established for His Church.

The Diocese of Pittsburgh produced a brochure in response that i think it is very good. It also addresses the common misunderstanding of the "Common Priesthood" of all baptized Christians and the "Ministerial Priesthood."

Books

My brother "tagged" me to answer some questions about books. I usually don't do these types of things but its about books and i haven't posted anything recently so...

1. One book that changed your life?

The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus. Have you seen my left arm?

2. One book you have read more than once?

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. This was probably the first book I read in High School which really got me interested in literature.

3. One book you would want on a desert island?

Besides the Bible? The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. the next best thing ;-)

4. One book that made you cry?

Go tell it on the Mountain by James Baldwin.... i don't want to talk about it...Excuse me i think i've got something in my eye....

5. One book that made you laugh?

The Sot-weed Factor by John Barth. A wonderful book and not only funny... its a historical satire.

6. One book you wish had been written?

Ok the first scene starts with a boy with a shaved head starting an old Triumph motorcycle... alone in at a bar.... cemetery.... tap dancing.... church..... i'm not sure about the ending....

7. One book you wish had never had been written?

oh, something (anything) by Ayn Rand

8. One book you are currently reading?

John Brown: Abolitionist; The man who killed slavery, sparked the civil war, and seeded civil rights. By David S. Reynolds. (i was interested in reading about this Calvinist Terrorist. People now would surely call him a "Fundamentalist".... he just had convictions.)

9. One book you have been meaning to read?

War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy

Through a glass darkly

So, here i am in PA. It seems the main reason for why i wasn't allowed to start seminary this year was because of money. I just hope i can save enough this year to satisfy them... So, I plan on staying here in PA (living rent free) and work (somewhere). Right now i'm doing some painting for the Northumberland Christian School (where my brother-in-law works).

I found a good church here; All Saints in Selingsgrove and i hope they will be willing to help me out....

I'm in the process of finishing my application for postulancy in the Diocese of Quincy; which requires both a medical and psychological evaluation. I met with a psychologist on Friday. He interviewed me and I took a personality test (to see if i'm insane). It was 567 true or false questions. One of my favorites was "True or False: There are many people out to get me." which i was tempted to answer True....;-) Some others were "I wish i was a girl" and "I like to hurt animals" (both i marked False, in case you were wondering).... I have a full medical exam scheduled on Wednesday that i'm not looking forward to.... The psych evaluation cost $225 and who knows what the full damage of the medical will be (it requires some lab work); it must be done but it just makes it more difficult to save if i'm required to spend.

Otherwise

I got a call today from Fr. Derbyshire (Bp. Ackerman’s secretary.) He seemed as shocked and confused as I was. He said he would look into it and get back to me. Still, if I am to believe Nashotah there is nothing they can do for me this year. I’m just hoping for a better explanation.

Otherwise my trip has been very enjoyable. I started off last Friday for my friend Brady’s wedding in Savannah. It was an outdoor wedding and reception, so it was a bit hot… but otherwise a top nock celebration. The wedding was conducted by a friend of theirs who is Baptist but thankfully used the Book of Common Prayer. The reception was one of the best I’ve ever been to: great food, plenty too drink, and old friends. From there I drove up to Chattanooga to spend the night. I visited an old friend Amy (Riley) Gast. She has three great kids now! Then I drove up to Carbondale, IL with my friend Luke from college. His brother had a boat that we took out on the lake. Then I drove for about 7 hours north to Nashotah…. Now I’m in Chicago visiting my friend Sarah. I'll probably drive straight home (pa) when I leave (I don’t know anyone in between); which should take around 12 hours.

Discern This

After thinking and praying about it this past weekend, I realize that Nashotah was right in not letting me in now. Yeah, I was upset at first but I realize this was God telling me (through the Nashotah admissions broad) to step back and really think and pray....I thought that if I had support from my Bishop that was all that mattered and I could work everything out (about what I believe; continuing to discern my call, and where I fit in) while I was in seminary (the Bishop told me the same). But now I realize that maybe they recognized something in me that I was afraid to admit. I am fairly sure I have a call but in what manner and perhaps what kind of Church. How will the current situation of the Episcopal/Anglican Church effect my work if I’m ordained a priest? (Nashotah kept talking in business terms of their role in choosing who goes to seminary and who doesn’t. I think they saw me as a "debt risk" and one with "low earnings potential" in a "constricted job market.") You may ask yourself what do any of these things matter in examining the fitness of someone for the study of theology? I’d say you’re right to ask. But the fact that they asked pointed to a point of view that I don’t share and believe shouldn’t be an issue if one has a call to the Priesthood, let alone for just graduate study (but nevertheless is a major issue that I chose to ignore). That is, the internal politics of the Church and my catholic views will play a major role in where and whether or not I can get a job as a priest. The job market for "catholic" priests is very small in the ECUSA.... The Anglican Church will always remain schizophrenic.... if not between the Evangelicals and the Catholics than between the Provinces which ordain woman and those that don't... Is this "diversity" really a blessing? Where is the authority?

Here's an excerpt from a website I found on vocation/discernment that really hit home:

God speaks to us through hard facts. God uses the realities around us to talk to us. So don't be distracted in waiting for wonders and signs because you'll miss what Jesus is saying, if you'll only look around and observe. Look at your own aptitudes, gifts, circumstances, etc... These are like a needle on a compass which points in the right direction. Didn't Jesus Himself advise us to observe the signs of the times to be able to make proper judgment? He scolded those who kept demanding signs for their lack of faith. He said that the only sign needed was Himself. Focus your attention away from yourself and onto Jesus and you'll come to know your vocation.

You see, God is calling you to something but He wants you to go through the work of thinking and praying and seeking to understand His will. In return God makes Himself known and reveals the best way to follow Him. But His voice is not heard in the same way by everyone. For example, those who are hard of hearing God may find it necessary to speak harshly. In such a case His invitation is given as a call to love although it may be quite a suffering ordeal for the individual to be called. God may reach a person through humiliations, as in the case of St. Alphonsus Liguori, or through injury, as happened to St. Ignatius Loyola. St. Ignatius discovered his vocation as he lay on a hospital bed asking for something to read. Nothing was available except The Lives of the Saints. Its reading prompted an entire conversion of life in St. Ignatius. God used the turmoil of his illness to call.

Remember the saying “God makes honey out of vinegar”? Isn’t it profoundly true? He takes things, which we frequently interpret as misfortunes and disasters, and transforms them into beautiful realities. Surely you have found yourself in circumstances which seem terrible. But somehow such situations frequently turn out to be blessings in disguise. It’s because our vision is so limited that we get stuck and confused when things don’t turn out exactly as our small minds have planned. It doesn’t matter whether a calamity just happens or whether we bring it upon ourselves. God is always much greater. For Him to make the best usage of your life, submit your plans and judgments and particular circumstances to His all-encompassing intelligence. All will turn out well; only trust in God.

There are untold numbers of men and women who have found their vocations by practicing simple trust in God. It requires patience to understand a particular circumstance in one’s life. What can God be telling me through this ordeal or in this circumstance? Sometimes certain avenues of serving God may be closed to you. Do not get stuck by being attached to your own idea of serving God. Perhaps He has a better one. I’ve seen frustrated individuals uselessly spend their energies in working to pry open doors that God has lovingly shut for their own good. I’ve seen others pout because they can’t open the doors no matter how hard they try. These people do not let God lead them to another door which He has opened for them. Such people will not find God’s Will until they have the humility and freedom to let go of their own plans.

Faith picks up where reason leaves off. Reason alone is not sufficient to please God. Rather, God is pleased when you admit your uncertainty and give your trust to Him. "It is impossible to please God without faith" (Heb 11:6).

Some people cannot accept anything less than 100% certainty in following their vocation. This is not following Jesus in faith; such individuals are following
themselves. Too much time spent "discerning" before trying a vocation can bring
about a great amount of misplaced trust in Self and much indecisiveness about
following a vocation. Such a person cannot fly to God because he or she lacks the
wings of faith. When you think God is calling you to a particular vocation, try it.

God and Mammon

Nashotah House is not accepting my application for this year. Their excuses were a lack of discernment (they forgot that I was in the discernment process in Maryland) and was in spiritual direction for even longer. And money. I think the fact that I'm currently unemployed didn't help. They said "were are not in the business of putting people into bankruptcy." But they didn't say I will need a certain amount saved to reapply. (I think it is just the effort). And the fact that I'm single didn't seem to help either. They said if I had a wife she could work for me. At this point I don't think Bp. Ackerman will be able to help. In fact they told me that even if their reasons are in error they won't change their decision. I will call the Bishop to let him know. I still want to become a postulant in the Diocese of Quincy. I most likely will have to move there and find a job.... What a disaster.

Hung Out To Dry

Well, I just had my last interview with the Nashotah Admissions board. I don't think it went well. And I think they aren't going to let me in this year because I don't have enough money right now. Of course I don't, I'm a poor worker. So, it looks like only the rich should be priests and apply to seminary.... The reason I have don't have any money is because I haven't asked for any support. I wanted to apply first and get accepted so that when I asked people for money they knew it was going to school; not just an "idea or plan" of going to school. I'm speaking to the Associate Dean for Academic Affairs tomorrow. They set up a meeting right before I leave. This is why I think it will be bad news. How cowardly and unhelpful can you get. Give me a chance will you. What if I can raise enough money before school starts? I'm not saying I'm a saint but how many saints started their ministry by giving their money to the poor? (just about all of them). But I guess it only counts as being a noble thing if you have money in the first place to give away; actually being poor is just sick. I can't help but think I'm being discriminated against. My background and experience is "spotted" with manual labor. If I have a call to the priesthood and its really God's will than won't He help me raise the money and convict people to give for the common cause of building up Christ’s Church in the support of men with vocations? School is expensive there is no doubt. Its about $27,000 per year. I wasn't being shortsighted or naive either. I'm taking out loans and I have a little savings, and yes that still won't be enough. I will need support, I know that all too well.




Saint Jude! (patron saint of lost causes) Pray for me!

GRE:Suffering::MAT:Pleasure

I just completed the millers analogies test (MAT). Its a test of 120 analogies in 60 minutes. The questions encompass history, music, geography, art, literature, science, and about two questions about math. This is a great option for liberal art students. I recommend it if your graduate school accepts it instead of the GRE. It is much less painful and actually a little fun. I don't claim that I aced it but I'm sure I did OK. And besides its really just a formality; Nashotah doesn't say you have to get a certain score to be accepted. Most seminaries accept anyone who can pay. They are all hurting for money/students.

Acknowledgements

I've officially moved to Northumberland (until I leave for school). Before I begin this blog I'd like to thank some people who have helped me get this far: Fr. Thomas and Fr. Speer (my own priests), all the vestry and parishioners of GASP, and Bernhard (for the Monastic Diurnal), Rick, Susan, and Paul for offering to be part of my "parish lay committee," Fr. Catania SSC (for suggesting Quincy), Fr. Gordon (your support has been invaluable), Fr. English SJ (my spiritual director extraordinaire), Joyella and friends who gave me a lovely send off, and finally my family, [et bien sûr, sans un autre mot, mon âme, Francine]